The way i feel..

I felt so heavy after waking up this afternoon from my graveyard shift. I can't tell why or what was i feeling that time. All i can say is that it felt like I had lost something so important to me. I can feel my heart beat as i lay back on my bed.
Has something happen? I guess..

Everytime i'm not with her I feel so gloomy. Yeah that's the right term "Gloomy". I just want to be with her all the time. I don't care where we are as long as i'm with her. She makes me feel like i'm living for a reason. As far as i can tell, i never felt like this before to anyone else.

Hmmmmm..

There are just some moments when she's irritated to me. Even if i did not deliberately do or say things that she doesn't like. I think it's part of me. It's up to her if she can accept that from me. I also feel gloomy everytime i read her plurks, that she's feeling this and she's feeling that..moreover..plurks that makes me think "is that for me?" or for "him"? who would she want to hold her in his arms tonight?? me? him? who would she want to me meet? hmmm HIM with a matching heart.. who HIM? me? him? what would him think if him reads she would want to meet HIM..
pfffff.. damn this shiitymind of mine..