Hindi kayo nagkulang, ako ang may pagkukulang

Bakit di ko kayang magparamdam man lang kahit sa isang sms??
What is so wrooong about me..

Kaninang umaga..

Pinagalitan ako ni ninang.."kahit magkapitbahay tayo..di mo man lang maisipan na bumisita dito? Kung di pa kita tinatawag di ka pa pupunta dito..Nung isang araw dumaan ka lang pero di ka naman pumasok..napanis tuloy ung ulam na itinabi namin.."

hahayz..di ko alam bkit di na ako nakakadalaw sa kanila..no time? i think..

A very nice timing.. tumawag ang aking pinakamamahal na ate..at pinapasabing magonline ka at magchat tayo nila mommy and daddy..

Sinimulan ni mommy.. " O, di ka man lang makaisip sa amin? ni text man lang hi or hello..musta na kayo diyan..hindi mo rin maisipan na tumawag kung okay lang kami dito..or ano ba.. Iniisip ko kung naalala mo pa na may mga magulang ka..kung kailangan mo ba kami o hindi na..Paminsan iniisip ko kung nagkulang ako sa pagpapalaki sayo para di ka nagpaparamdam sa amin..Hindi naman ako nagkulang..Kelan ka pa huling tumawag sa amin? Sa facebook mo, yung mga picture lang ng kaibigan mo ang andon..kami wala..nung pinadala ko ung mga polo mo..di ko man lang narinig sayo na thank you, salamat..wala..o di ka man lang nagtext, me, nariciv ko na ung padala mo.."

kahit di ko nakikita, nararamdaman ko at alam kong umiiyak si mommy? Mommy was never so emotional about it until now. That's why it hurts to hear her say those things..It was straight through the heart..

Then.. si ate ... " Long, manage yourself wisely..may mga times sa buhay ng tao na akala niya tama na ung mga gagawin niya..Mataas ang pangarap ko para sayo..gusto ko mas mahigitan mo pa lahat ng aking nadaanan..ayokong maranasan mo ung naranasan ko..kahit mawala na mga kaibagan mo o lahat ng mga kasama mo..andyan pa rin sila mommy and daddy..pamilya mo..sila lang ang makaksama mo..........atbp..time will tell..

I know what's wrong and right..I will know if i am wrong with my decisions..Di ako natatakot magkamali..in fact, i love being wrong with my decisions..i learn something from it..i was just thinking when ate was relating her emotions about having my independence that why are they so afraid that i will make the wrong decisions? they raised me up so well..they have given me wings to fly.. the one thing they're missing is that.. i will fly back at them when my wings are tired..

It was in my mind that i was not in my domain..i was at ninangs house..so, i kept my emotions aside..

Then.. it was dad.. Dad.. dad said ingat and take care.. but i know he wants to speak to me..I forgot the things he said..but i also want to know his side..I just said that i will be preparing for work and i dont want to be late..

Listening to what they have told me was so heart breaking..I don't have anything to say to them..All of what they said was true..All i can think of was.. "Fuck, something's wrong with me.??" And i thought. There must be. I already know what is it..I just don't appraise it in my mind. Now i don't know how can i make it up to them..i feel so shitty about it..