Looking forward

January blues are finally over.


It's going to be a new experience for me this year as i will be leaving my company. I will be joining a new company next month for a better compensation. I will be missing a lot of things from hereon. Things like the There are things i don't want to leave behind especially the bonds that i made with friends.

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Do I still have the motivation?

I am gaining weight again. I run less and i don't find time to exercise. This is not good. I am finding my way back into running. But the question is "am i still motivated?".



I had problems at work which i think is giving me the roadblock. The work shift is killing me. I can't manage to find time in exercise or running. My self-discipline is poor at this time. It was a part of my resolution this year but i guess i need to put an effort into doing this.



I need to get back to where i started. I need to remind myself everytime why am i doing this. I have to start now. I always procrastinate which doesn't help me. I need to plan ahead for my training. Also, my discipline in nutrtion. I need to have a diet plan.

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December 2012 - Conclusion

What a year for me! The year is going to end, i feel excited. i am going to have my holidays with my folks. What could be in store for me in the next year? Will it be prosperous?
2012 will be one of the memorable year in my life. It had me whole. Learning was hard. Trials were dominating. Life was overall insane.
Looking forward for a better 2013.

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November 2012 - Rush

It already the last quarter of the month. I was getting nostalgic. I was reminiscing how my life for 2012 was. Did it went good? Did it went well? Did i get to where i wanted?
It will be december soon. And i had to recount my experiences for this year and put it in a blog. So this shittymind of mine won't forget a single moment. Not everything though. I had to prepare.
Not a single word came from his mom. He just turned two and not a single fuck was given. I was disappointing. Anyway, things has his way of back firing. I shrugged off the negativity in that thought.
I need to have a long run this time. I registered for a 25km run. It was the new balance power run. As usual, my favorite organizer will be holding this event. With less training i thought i can pull it off. I was mentally prepared for the run. The optimism was there, unfortunately my body wasn't prepared for it. I had a few cramps along the way. And i didn't finish strong.
I was getting the hang of my work. Stress was already my friend, he was there with me 24x7. He never left me. He was more than a bestfriend. However it was a company that dragged me. I went slow, i went tired. This will be difficult to let it out on my system.
I had a few job interviews and offer. I didn't take it. I was telling myself, there is still much to learn on my current work. Was i wrong?

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October 2012 - Crunch

And then October came.

I love this month. This is my son's birth month. I knew i'll be with him on his birthday and so i was excited.


I'll be seeing him again. He has grown a lot. His hair were already touching his shoulders. Curly at the bottom and kind of shaggy. Like samson's, his long hair fits the shape of his face. He can already utter a few words. I like the most is when he calls me Daddy!. The killer dimples on his smile are irresistable reminds me of his mom.


Work is already getting tough. The knowledge transfer was already done and started supporting. It was a challenge for me. Pressure was right back at me and stress was cheering its way on my system. I thought for a while it was good, it gave me time to concentrate into something not emotional. Perhaps a distraction that would stay a little longer this time. Mentally, it was a torture, knowing that you are accountable for the applications that you had acquired. That was not expected.


I had a little time running this time. My schedule didn't fit in for my exercise routine. I slack off and gained a little weight.
Even i don't have a love life i feel inspired at this time. There was something i can't explain. I was happy being single, enjoying the company that i have.


And yes! Finally, i have reconciled with my first ex. It wasn't awkward at all. Talking to her was casual and normal. There was no boom or a skip a beat on my heart. I remembered there was a moment of silence when i told her it was me. Like a tripple dot at the end of a sentence. A long pause... I was expecting she would hang up the phone but she didn't. Clearly, she wasn't expecting my call. And there it was, a very long international call. Almost two hours we chat. I was happy.

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September 2012 - Steady

Ber months came, the first of January feels like yesterday.

This was a steady month for me. Everything went normal again. Got out of debt at the second quarter. Work was nothing much but doing knowledge transfers. My running was going well. I ran for at least 40km each week. No plans as of the moment, I was just going with the daily flow of my life.


I did my first 32K run on this month along with my close friends. It was fun I enjoyed it. I did a blog on that run.

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July 2012 - Pace up

Time is gold. Meaning it's precious. It's valuable. It should be treasured.


I am still coping up with my feelings. But its getting better and better. I learned: time heals every sorrow and pain. I realize its your self who will decide to move or stay. To be happy or sad. The choice is always yours. So never regret the choices and decisions that you've made.

Started training this month for my first full marathon. A 42km of running. Its pretty long distant and tiring. I need to stay focus on training.

I started on my new team at my work. New resources are coming in on my new team. New set if friends. I've enjoyed working this month cause i think it wasn't much of work. It was fun and lot of training and knowledge transfer sessions. No work pressure yet.

Astaro is still here in manila, I enjoyed much of his company, playing around with me and we're having quality time together. He can already say Daddy!
Every time i look at him when he's asleep at night, i still feel sorry for him and makes me want to cry. Somehow, at the back of my mind i am hoping that our family will be complete. I guess there is still hope left in me.

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June 2012 - Moving on

Focus on the things that inspire you. Hold it to keep you motivated.

Finally! Its half quarter of the year. And i'm feeling happy. Contended. I was thankful i made it through the bad time of my life. It made me a stronger person. I'm gaining my confidence back. I am motivated to keep going.

I'm excited, I'm going to take my first 21k with my friends. This time it comes with a finishers medal. Finishing a long race is very fulfilling, I can't describe my feelings after crossing the finish line. It gave me a sense of accomplishment. I register for training for running. New set of friends again.

In my work, i was transferred to another team for some reason. And later on found out it was an advantage for me. Luckily.. A lot of oppurtunity, improvement and a new set of friends! It was a blessing in disguise. Another set of friends again!

I was also super excited because my son will be coming here again. Bonding moment and quality time together with him. This was the time we really had a strong bond. We were going out just the two of us, talking to him like a friend. Teaching him little stuff at his age. It's cool to have a son! I love it.

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